SPRING RANT 2016 AND TWO YEARS BACK

This mudslide was due to over logging above it... I miss my friends on Steelhead Lane. May you rest in peace
This mudslide was due to over logging above it… I miss my friends on Steelhead Lane. May you rest in peace

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Happy Spring of 2016…  yes, I have been out of contact for the last couple of years but the idiots at godaddy.com said they were going to change my blog to wordpress but didn’t bother to tell me I would have to redownload it so I have to re-insert all my old blogs but on the lighter side, I can put up my old evil unpolitically rants of old.  You know the ones where I made men cry, destroyed guides, and made fly fishermen look at themselves as the Nazi regime that they are.  Really?  Why do you wear the same costumes?  Why do you work the whole entire drift when the fish is either at the head of the pool or the tail out of it?  Why oh Why do you not listen to me?

So enjoy the rant I wrote last year.  I’ve been so busy with my 30 acre farm.  Why am I so busy?  Well, I decided to take advantage of the last couple of years of decent steelhead fishing, my daughter Loryn passed away six years ago, where you will never ever know the time I spent in the woods getting over that one, and I’ve conquered hunting.  I can call in anything.  Having my own elk herd I know everything there is to know about Roosevelt Elk.  My next composition will be “Everything You Thought You Knew About Elk But You Don’t”.  And I’m pretty sure every outdoor magazine will copy it.  Kind of like my last interview with Jack Hemingway.

Rich and I snook fishing with www.ladyfishcharters.com Okay why didn't someone tell me my scarf made look like an alien we caught 50 that day
Rich and I snook fishing with www.ladyfishcharters.com Okay why didn’t someone tell me my scarf made look like an alien we caught 50 that day

So before I go on with my rant from last year, I’m going to announce that within a year and a half I will be moving to Florida to CoCo Beach.  My husband’s rocket company is putting in a bigger factory and we have a chance to transfer to Florida.  Where I’ll be buying a flats boat, be getting my charter license, and guiding down there.  Why?

BECAUSE FISHING IN WASHINGTON STATE SUCKSASS  There’s no more salt water fishing, the Puget Sound Rivers are closed to all steelhead fishing when it’s fishable and the Macaw Tribe has a fleet of 40 trowlers trowling up and down the coast of Washington.  It’s time for a change, plus if I can be deadly in a drift boat imagine Miss Angie with a motor boat?

This water is warm I seem to be stuck
This water is warm I seem to be stuck

So enjoy my latest rant.  Sorry Tom Nelson, you’re a sell out and the last time I listen to you and you said you didn’t mind Native American netting?  You lost all respect as the sell out and native steelhead killer you use to be.  Ma ha ha ha

Since Willie died, so has Willie Boat's customer service. I've sold them so many boats with no respect? Fuck you Willie Boats... Now I have the meanest looking boat on the river
Since Willie died, so has Willie Boat’s customer service. I’ve sold them so many boats with no respect? Fuck you Willie Boats… Now I have the meanest looking boat on the river

SPRING BLOG 2015

Yeah Yeah Yeah… My blog has been down since September because the wonderful Mister Bob Pearson made Go Daddy public and it would take me a whole two hours to put it back up.  Do I have time to do that?  Hell no!  But since I’m flying back from the wonderful Florida Keys, I might as well.  Plus?

I’ve decided I want to be rich and famous so I’m pushing my book out finally after dicking with my publisher and getting yelled at for being lazy. I’ve also been super duper stupid.  I keep working on my remodeling of the home, cleaning up after the asshole loggers, and working on the property.    Why am I doing all this when I can hire it done?  Well, working on a farm is really therapeutic  but what’s more therapeutic is being rich and living in the tropics.  Here are some other things that are therapeutic when you go on vacation and play rich.

Driving a BMW super fast and cutting people off that are actually going faster than you.  Like 100 miles per hour .  Didn’t see one state patrol, especially at 1am in the morning.

Flying first class

Eating at the finest restaurants in Miami. Yes, I have eaten at Bravo’s Best New Restaurant’s finalist “Tongue and Cheek” and Top Chef’s own Italian heart throb Fabio’s new gig.  Literally everyone out there eat your heart out.  Best bar snack ever?  Fried crispy chicken skins.

Cruising in a boat on turquoise 80degree waters, catching fish and not having a clue what you’re doing.

Buying your husband his high school beater but it’s got a BMN shifter, a rebuilt 350 and a brand new paint job El Camino 1965. Yeah, and we’re drag racing it against our 1965 Mustang “Brony”

Yup, I bought my husband for father's day a better version of his teenage youth. Yeah, I am the perfect wife
Yup, I bought my husband for father’s day a better version of his teenage youth. Yeah, I am the perfect wife

Staying in a townhouse where every bedroom has a bathroom (please see below)

What’s not therapeutic?

Yelling at your husband every day to finish remodeling the bathroom that I tore apart before Xmas thinking that the bastard would have it finished during Christmas break. Come Easter we now have a sink.  I’m thinking about doing the following to make him finish it:

Peeing and pooping in the sink or how about the hole in the floor where the toilet use to be? I know this sounds disgusting but so does taking a shower every day when you’re a bather.  You know how hard it is to shave?  Remember Andrew Dice Clay’s nursery rhyme?

“Mary Mary quite contrary, shave your——“ I’m so not going to draw you a picture.

Having my daughter and her friends pretend to get ready staring at an empty wall and pretending it’s a mirror. I doubt this will work because he’s absolutely oblivious all the time.  I bet he’d think nothing of Erikka singing and blow drying her hair without it being on because THERE IS NO OUTLET FOR A BLOW DRYER.

Laying butt ass naked where the tub should be and yelling for a towel. Yeah, this would turn most men on but I think he would just throw me the towel.  Maybe suggest having sex while showering?  Nope, my husband would rather have me cut him off before finishing the bathroom.  Yes,  we’ve been married that long.  They don’t call us the Bickersons for nothing.

Look Tom Nelson is feeding seals... what a weirdo I'd be feeding them poison
Look Tom Nelson is feeding seals… what a weirdo I’d be feeding them poison

Oh, I’m suppose to talk about the outdoors and look at me digressing in the first sentence. So let’s talk about the outdoors.  We’re going to talk about the outdoors but first we’re going to talk about how really evil I actually am.  Remember when I first started my blog whose soul purpose was to torture my competition that were being assholes to me?  But can I really call them my competition?  Since they’d have to actually do something better than me?

Okay we’ll call these men “attention whores” because we all know why they’re being assholes. Could it be because any attention from a woman is better than no attention from a woman?  These men are so pathetic that they have to be assholes or dicks to the only woman in the industry which would be me is within five feet of them.  Still not seeing all them other female hunting and fishing guides out there.  Keep hearing about them kind of like I hear about sasquatch.

Who are these assholes you all ask?

Outdoorline now has a new sponsor his kids are the models for "Proactive"
Outdoorline now has a new sponsor his kids are the models for “Proactive”

Tom Nelson from Outdoors Offline, Bob Ball from Piscatorial Pursuits (actually I quit picking on him I kind of like him now) and that weird Ray “what the fuck is his name” from the last blog, John Koenig who is now starving up in Darrington where his poor wife works for nine dollars and hour at a convenience store and the list goes on and on.

I also have issue with other things like the assholes who prick tease us with a good product and then fuck it up or quit making it or heaven fo bid they try improve upon it. Who are these retarded numb nuts that make something that works just dandy and mess with it?  I can’t tell you how irritated it makes me.  I went on a tirade a couple of weeks ago looking for waterproof camouflage.

For example; WHY THE HELL DID CABELAS QUIT MAKING THEIR OLD YELLOW TINTED CAMOUFLAGE WITH GORTEX AND MAKE THE SHIT THEY HAVE NOW WITH THEIR SHITTY “DRY PLUS” AND HALF CAMMIE HALF DIGITIZED PATTERNS.   WHEN WEARING THEIR RAIN GEAR NOW I MIGHT AS WELL CUT TWO HOLES FOR ARMS OUT OF A HEFTY GARBAGE BAG TO STAY DRY BECAUSE IT WOULD WORK BETTER.

BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT I NOW GIVE THE BEST ADVICE ANYONE CAN EVER GIVE. IF YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE BUY A COUPLE OF THEM BEFORE STUPID MEN FIDDLE WITH IT.

Rob Endsley may be a good saltwater fisherman but with those outdated plugs I doubt he does good in the river. Right Mansfield?
Rob Endsley may be a good saltwater fisherman but with those outdated plugs I doubt he does good in the river. Right Mansfield?

BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT I NOW GIVE THE BEST ADVICE ANYONE CAN EVER GIVE. IF YOU FIND SOMETHING YOU LIKE BUY A COUPLE OF THEM BEFORE STUPID MEN FIDDLE WITH IT.

Why am I blaming it on men? Well, here’s a thought…  Have you seen women change the basic design of a purse?  A Chanel Suit?  A diaper?  A bra? As gramps use to say; “if it taint broke don’t fix it, for Christ’s sake”

SO NOW I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO THE ONE AND ONLY…

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ANGY’S LIST

(I’m sure once this gets popular I’m going to have issues with the real Angie)

Today on “ANGY’S LIST” we’re going to discuss cool topics like camouflage, optics, guides, outdoor radio stations and magazines. And then I’m going there, I fucking hate the NRA and you’ll find out why.

ANGY’S LIST

“Call of the Wild” on KJR versus “Outdoor Online” which one do I like best? Let’s do a little history shall we.  We all know Joel  Shangle the cute and scruffy editor of everyone’s favorite fishing rag “Fishing and Hunting News”.  You know the infamous tabloid that for $50 you sold out your buddies and your favorite hangout for fame and then can’t figure out why there are 100 people there every time you try to go hunting or fishing.  I was going to write for them but when I found out what it entitled I said;

“Fuck that”

Any who, Shangle started a radio show that most of you have never heard of since it’s on at 7:30am on Saturday morning and it’s only on for an hour, but if you were driving to your favorite outdoor destination sometimes you remembered to tune in.  It’s a pretty funny show because you have fishing folk hero Bill Herzog on it and in the beginning there was another fellow named Tom Nelson, who nicknamed HIMSELF “Nellie”.  Kind of like me nicknaming myself “Andy” or maybe he got the nickname when he played football.  It’s not a good thing when the coach calls you by a girl’s name.

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Any who, Tom Nelson was on it for like two years.   As usual Tom back stabbed Shangle and left the show trying to take all the sponsors with him.  See Nellie like most women is a back stabber.  For instance no one even heard of him till I put him on my web site when it was super popular back in the day.  So back stabbing “Nellie” or we can label him “User Nellie”, “Two Faced Nellie”, and my personal favorite “Phony Nellie”.

Tom Nelson is the type of guy that is so spineless, so wimpy, so no personality,  that he’s the sort of dude that if he lived in Nazis Germany he’d follow Hitler all the way to the “Jewish Baking Company”  and throw some live loaves in and turn on the oven.  Oh, and I’m not just insulting him, I describe everyone that is so PC this way.  That not only doesn’t their shit stink it doesn’t even come out.  I seriously hate them.  Or if he was a prostitute, he’d do anal.

When did I not start likng him besides from him screwing Shangle? When I heard him say and yes, I’m a quoting;

“I DON’T MIND THAT THE INDIANS NET” I was dozing at the time and instantly woke up with a raging “that fucking hypocrite” hard on.

I keep saying Joel Shangle's radio show is wayyyy better than Tom Nelson's infomercial he also is a better in hunting, fishing, breeding, talking, looks
I keep saying Joel Shangle’s radio show is wayyyy better than Tom Nelson’s infomercial he also is a better in hunting, fishing, breeding, talking, looks

I also started to not like him because of my “nasty catch and kill attitude” and anti-netting stance, I couldn’t be on his show. I don’t really mind however, and you’ll see why.  When I was on Shangle’s show for my guide business, guess how many trips I got out of it?  Guess how many trips anyone gets off of the shows?  Unless you’re on it all the time, everyone I know didn’t get one client.

But enough about Tom Nelson, I mean, if you’re going to listen to an outdoor show where the host lives in a housing development in Lake Stevens, had to pay the Quinaults for the smallest elk bull head I have ever seen, and owns like three guns, doesn’t know how to hunt and works in Seattle…

At least Joel Shangle grew up on a 200 acre farm and is the real deal. Need I say more?

And if you’re a bit curious and want to listen to his show and bad advice, read the following and I’ll save you the trouble.

“Tom Nelson here on Outdoorline which is brought to you by Alumaweld oopsy now it’s Weld Craft, Luhrs Jensen, GLoomis… today we have Hot Shot Guide Service reporting, where he only drives an Alumaweld, uses pink plugs by Luhrs Jensen that are attached to a GLoomis rod. But first since I always wanted to be a sports announcer we’re going to talk about how sucky the Huskies are between my mentioning of Alumaweld, Luhrs Jensen, and GLoomis.  Wait what happened to Hot Shot Guide Service? Why isn’t he going to be on? He got arrested?  You mean we’ve had him on our radio show for two years and he nev er had a Charter license or a Six Pack? @#!$$$$$

And dude you don’t live in Tulalip. You’re leasing that tiny hovel on the water from the Tulalip Indians because they took their land back.  Oh, I gotta get my old computer running I think I have a picture of “Nellie” with a nice big dead old Native steelhead from when he was a member of the “Wild Cat Steelheader Club” of Skagit famed native killing steelheaders.

And his hunting advice? Well, I couldn’t find any big game trophy pictures on his web site, his facebook, his twitter…  Do I have to say more?

Yup it doesn't matter what I do... I do it well
Yup it doesn’t matter what I do… I do it well
What good luck my first turkey was a double beard!!!!
What good luck my first turkey was a double beard!!!!

LEOPULD VERSUS VORTEX OPTICS

Sorry, my friends from Leopuld you have gone the way of Bushnell. Vortex Optics by far out shine yours and the price is just right.  I still love my Leopulds and I can’t afford to switch out the scopes on three of my rifles but all my new rifles are now Vortex.    I also switched binoculars.  I know I’m hard on optics because I hunt pretty much all fall and we know how much it rains.  I can destroy a pair of binoculars in two years especially Leopulds.  So we’ll see what I have to say next December after hunting season to see if Vortex can with stand the test of “Hunting with Angie”.

I could test out my husband’s Swatchkas but then I love the 3K he gives me a year for keeping my skin so young and beautiful.  Yes ladies, if your husband can’t afford to keep you young and beautiful over 40 he’s a dick.  Am I talking botox and fillers?  Hell no!  I have the skin, ass and tits of a 25 year old because of ultra sound, collagen, and lasers.  I must admit that all outdoor women should put on sunscreen like peanut butter on a rat trap.  Don’t ask I own a giant barn.

Angie's first hog
Angie’s first hog

NOW MORE ABOUT ULTRA SOUND VERSUS BOTOX AND FILLERS

Okay husbands with money. Is your wife over 40 looking all wrinkly and getting another chin?  The new thing plastic surgeons are doing is an ultra sound that heats up the skin and induces collagen growth and tightens it up.  It also works on your tired tummy and bottom.  Don’t believe me?  Look at my perfect skin and I’m sure you looked at my ass.  See slutty pictures of me with muscle cars and bikes.

Botox and fillers? Have you seen Hollywood?  Oh and if you have the money and don’t follow my advice?  You suck as a husband or you’re a loser and don’t deserve a trophy wife.  Notice I said “trophy wife” which means you have to take care of your trophy or it begins to rust or in a woman’s case sag.  Errrrr ummmmmm most of my competition’s wives.

It's been such a hot summer the kids and I love going to Deep Lake
It’s been such a hot summer the kids and I love going to Deep Lake

EXPENSIVE GUIDES VERSUS EL CHEAPO GUIDES

My guide buddies and I are getting pretty pissed off about the new generation of guides. They are wannabe guides that under cut the old time guides and suck ass.  Ever heard of “you get what you pay for”?  Go to Joe Superfisky’s face book.

If you book a trip with some dude under 30 and he shows up in a piece of shit old Toyota 4X4 pulling a blue raft in the middle of January, the following is going to happen:

It’s raining and windy. OH NO!  Looks like you aren’t getting down the river anytime soon because you know what happens to rafts?  They blow right back up the river.  Oh, are you getting cold and wet?  OH NO!  There’s no heat source on a raft.  Hope you brought the right outfit but then I bet your guide didn’t forwarn ya because that’s something a responsible guide would do and how responsible are 20 year olds?  Oh, and are you expecting a big fish?  OH NO!  You can’t pull plugs out of a raft, now can ya? And if he hands you a foat and a bobber?  OH NO!  Your guide can’t even afford gear to lose.

You get what you pay for so what is the equivalent to paying $200 or less for a guide? Say you’re hiring a prostitute.  When you open the door you’re getting an old nasty meth addicted herped lip hag, that wasn’t only rode hard a million times and put away wet, she was rode hard a million times, boiled and then put away wet.

If your guide doesn’t show up in a brand new super cab rig with a shiny drift boat on the trailer, get in your car and drive away fast.

Here's to you Jim Mansfield for teaching me everything about Forks from elk to kings. I don't guide out there anymore but he does!
Here’s to you Jim Mansfield for teaching me everything about Forks from elk to kings. I don’t guide out there anymore but he does!
Wouldn't be a blog without Jim Mansfield killing natives. He's quit now since Forks sucks
Wouldn’t be a blog without Jim Mansfield killing natives. He’s quit now since Forks sucks

TOP GUIDE PICK OF THE DAY

Oregon Guide: Mike Fisenko

Forks Guide: Jim Mansfield  If he can’t take you do not let him recommend anyone to you, see the above about “New Generation of Guides”  Jim is a business man and takes a cut of the profit, plus if you follow him down the river, he looks just that much more than the fishing god that he is.

Saltwater Guide and river guide in Forks: Jim Richieson of Top Notch Charters

Puget Sound Blackmouth Guide and West Coast Charters: Rob Endsley

Hunting Guide: ME

FORKS TURNAROUND DUDE: Dean Swering or Bob of Bob’s Sporting Goods

CATCHING A SHITLOAD OF FISH ALL DAY LONG: Tupper of the Quinault Indian Reservation also a great bear guide.  But the poor dude that was the only bear guide had 30 baiting stations.  Since Native Americans aren’t only dicks to the white man his own tribe is fucking up his stations.  NICE

Again with Jim Richeson out of Lapush happy happy day
Again with Jim Richeson out of Lapush happy happy day

CAMOUFLAGE

Any thing that is Under Armour is awesome but beware the long underwear if you have a good size package, what am I trying to say? If you rip the crotch take your long underwear back proudly!  Rivers West use to be a favorite but they’re getting digitizy.  Did I mention I hate digitize cammie?  Did you all know that over in Afghanistan they quit using it because the enemy could see us better?  And more soldiers died because of it?

2014deerangie

FAVORITE FLY FISHING SHOP

Still is and will always be the Avid Angler in Kenmore. I really miss the Kaufmans Seattle store and the boys that helped me to learn how to tie flies.

FLY FISHING RODS

Sage sucks and Orvis doesn’t. Orvis does everything better.  My favorite trout rod is a 10 and a half footer 6 weight.  Did I mention Sage sucks and if you want to buy my single handed rod shoot me an email.  Or I just might donate it to the next Xmas tree auction in Buckley.  That is if I can scrape the harden layers of dust off of it.  I don’t even think WD 40 can clean it up.

Thanks Dave Beware for closing Buckley Elk hunting my herd went from 10 to this... asshole they destroy everything
Thanks Dave Beware for closing Buckley Elk hunting my herd went from 10 to this… asshole they destroy everything

HOT TOPIC

Why isn’t Miss Angie guiding anymore? I can’t fathom charging $350 a day for one to two steelhead, unless of course my clients want to throw a hay bale off the bridge then things will be better.  Plus, I hate Forks.  There’s nothing to do, my friends have all gone insane because they have lived there too long (yes, there is a world beyond Crescent Lake people) and I can’t even go into the bar because if I do, I will kill the bitches behind the bar and any town that has a shitty bar is a unhappy town.   What I love about Forks that they nees to learn that driving a new truck doesn’t make you the toast of the town.  Actually everyone in Forks needs to learn this.  Driving new rigs still doesn’t make up for the fact of where you lay your head at night.  And everyone that has stayed in Forks knows exactly what I’m a talking about.

Someone please please build a new development out there so Forks can see what a new home actually looks like and what they need their own homes to aspire to be.

Speaking of Forks bitches. There was one in particular I almost beat to death but because of her Uncle I didn’t.  Her name is Simone or Niome or let’s just call her the prune face waitress at the nice little restaurant that is “The In Place”.  She’s got a smoking body and a butta face.  Why do I want to kill her?

She went around town telling people I can’t hunt, I see animals but I don’t and I’m crazy. Oh and my thirty acre farm is leased?  Say what? So what did I do?  I drug the cunt to my truck and showed her my guns especially the big revolver in my purse.  Then I went back into the restaurant cornered her in the booth and showed her picture after picture of my kills and the animals that run around my farm.  She refused to look but I made her and she got this dead look in her eyes.  You know when you meet a really stupid person and the light doesn’t shine behind the eyes.  When we were talking about the 5X5 that hangs out at her uncle’s place she said her cracked out boyfriend killed it and there couldn’t possibly be another bull in the herd.

Really? You do know that when the herd bull gets killed another one takes its place?  Blank look.  The best part about Niome Simone Cuntnomie is that when she was introduced to me as Rick’s niece I was like how can that be?  Because her face is so shriveled she looks like she’s older than him.  Don’t believe me?  Take a look at her.  I’m thinking too much tanning or too much crack.  My nickname for her?  “The Crypt Keeper’s Daughter”.    Sorry Rick but she talked smacked about you and all her friends.  She is literally INSANE.

Yup, I lease my land and we don't shoot one of these every year off the deck. REALLY?
Yup, I lease my land and we don’t shoot one of these every year off the deck. REALLY?

Enough about how I detest Forks. I’m not guiding because I want to be “Adventure Angie” again.  I want to see new rivers, new wilderness and kill new things and write about it.  I might even do things that don’t involve killing something.  I’m even thinking about taking up over night back packing again.  Much easier to do a three day hike without carrying a big gun and carrying out the head and back strap.

For instance, remember my dream team member “Chapppy”? He moved to Colorado and wants me to come down for some trout fishing and monster mulie hunting.  Sounds like fun.  He lives in Ponderosa Springs and fly fishes the world famous San Juan River.  One of my clients wants me to go to Montana where his brother in law is the Game Warden for the Federal Wilderness Area “Bob Marshal” I think I got the name right.  And then I want to whoop it up in Louisianna with some night life and some gator hunting.

For instance, I just got back from the Florida Keys where I took my daughter and one of her friends for a family vacation. And what a vacation it was!  We did get some fishing in but just for dinner.  Why do I always go to the Florida Keys and not the Carribean?  I figured it’s probably the same thing and you don’t have to leave the states.  Next year when we go we’re hooking up with some friends and making it all about fishing.

Erikka and I loving the gator farm! Daddy let's move to Florida
Erikka and I loving the gator farm! Daddy let’s move to Florida

For instance, remember my dream team member “Chapppy”? He moved to Colorado and wants me to come down for some trout fishing and monster mulie hunting.  Sounds like fun.  He lives in Ponderosa Springs and fly fishes the world famous San Juan River.  One of my clients wants me to go to Montana where his brother in law is the Game Warden for the Federal Wilderness Area “Bob Marshal” I think I got the name right.  And then I want to whoop it up in Louisianna with some night life and some gator hunting.

For instance, I just got back from the Florida Keys where I took my daughter and one of her friends for a family vacation. And what a vacation it was!  We did get some fishing in but just for dinner.  Why do I always go to the Florida Keys and not the Carribean?  I figured it’s probably the same thing and you don’t have to leave the states.  Next year when we go we’re hooking up with some friends and making it all about fishing.

Where did we stay? We stayed in Layton at the Lime Tree Inn in a beautiful three bedroom three bathroom town house on the canal where you can park a boat.  We did absolutely nothing and ate like kings.  At the resort there is a boat rental for $200 a day, kayak rentals and bikes.  The only bad thing about the Keys was when we ran out of fish, Orvis Boy kept putting them back, there was only one fish market and whatever you do, do not shop at the Winn Dixie it’s disgusting.  As for Cuban Food?  Habernos will give you food poisoning.

The best part of the whole trip and we missed it was when the girls learned that if you turn the hose on and put it in the water a manatee comes from out of nowhere and let’s you water him and plays under the spray. My daughter Erikka being the wall flower that she is, of course climbed on the back of a boat and petted it.

Best restuarants? Kaiyoto Grill and Sushi, Chef Michael’s in Ismorada, The Castaway in Marathon and when we went to Miami we stayed at the Hilton and ate at one of the Best New Restaurant’s finalists “The Tongue and Cheek” not knowing that Top Chef famous Fabio was across the street we would have had appetizers there.  And the signature cocktails?

When I got back to the hotel I visited the Concierge and hug the booth till my head stopped spinning. Vodka can do that to a girl especially when she kept sipping off her husband’s drink.  Cucumber soaked vodka with paprika cayenne pepper salt.

IMG_1338

Fun kid stuff to do besides them ordering room service, is seeing the Dolphin Rescue center in Layton, the Turtle Rescue Center in Marathon and you have to go see the alligator farm and ride the airboats in Florida City.

Other interesting things to do that we couldn’t find till the last day is to go to the produce stand in Florida City by the alligator farm. I saw it on Emeril’s Florida.  It’s called “Rick is Here” stand.  He started it in the 50s and has everything tropical you could want to eat.

So stay tune for my next blog. More Turkey hunting and last year’s turkey hunting.  Orvis Boy works with a dude that owns 40 acres in Idaho off of Sandpointe.  Did I also mention calling in wolves?  Yup, and wolves are alive and well in Western Washington.  Which for my last topic…

Okay you idiots that insist that there are no native Roosevelts in the Puget Sound Region. You’re fucking high.  My elk herd are pure Roosevelts.  I can prove it with my three elk hides on my couches.  The Rocky Spike I shot in 2006 hide is nasty, small and uncomfortable.  The Roosevelt hides are like laying on my bear rug hanging on my wall.  Also, my husband’s family that started three dairy farms in the Lake Tapps Region in 1880 said there were Roosies running around all over the place.

SO KISS MY ASS… I KNOW MORE ABOUT ELK THAN ANY BIOLOGIST OUT THERE AND THEY TASTE BETTER THAN ROCKIES BECAUSE THEY’RE BROWSERS.

SEE YA AND GOBBLE GOBBLE

Yup me with a 20 pound kalama hatchery fish
Yup me with a 20 pound kalama hatchery fish
Another big Hen on the Sol Duc
Another big Hen on the Sol Duc
Carther the Cursed with a hen.  Miss ya Carter text me!
Carther the Cursed with a hen. Miss ya Carter text me!

2014coyote

 

STAY TUNE FOR NEW ANGIE’S RANTS…

STAY TUNED FOR AN ALL NEW ANGIE RANTS BLOG!

I’m bringing back the old stuff from 2001 to 2007 because I was suppose to get a reality show I took them down and after rereading are AWESOME!  I have to figure out how to use this damn new blog which for not having worked for 15 years is painstaking.  I don’t know why my web provider changed blogs but it is now harder than ever because I can blog from my stupid phone…  Really?

In a couple of days we’ll have “Angie’s List” my opinions that are always right on gear, guides, and random stuff.  I also will do a tell all about the idiots you all tune into on the radio for advice.  The dirt about their “OUTDOOR BACKGROUNDS”.  Really, take advice from a farm girl with her own elk herd as pets or dudes that live in housing developments that have to pay for their hunts.  PATHETIC…

Also, tips on how to do the Florida Keys the right way, hog hunts and I got a friend in Idaho with a private plane and 40 acres full of turkeys and monster mulies!  See the above radio reference.   Oh, and we’ll visit one of Angie’s old dream team steelheaders, Chappy in Colorado wherever the heck Ponderosa Pass is.

And yes, I’m going there.  Ever go to Forks, WA and visit the In Place?  Fork’s most awesome restaurant.  Well, Angie has a story to tell about one of the most INSANE women she’s ever met.  We’ll just nickname her “Crackhead Naomie”.  She’s 25 years old and looks like she fell asleep in a tanning bed or is the daughter of the Crypt Keeper!  Really bitch?  Tell everyone I don’t know how to hunt and I’m leasing my 30 acre farm?  You would all of loved it when I head locked her in a booth and forced her to look at all my dead animals on my phone.  BTW Mansfield, you don’t even want to know what she said about Meghan.

Attention all young ladies!  Put in for your White River Bull Permit so you can be like 16 year old Madis here.  I love taking young ladies for free!  Only men have to pay for it.
Attention all young ladies! Put in for your White River Bull Permit so you can be like 16 year old Madis here. I love taking young ladies for free! Only men have to pay for it.

OH AND I’M NOT GUIDING THIS YEAR.  I HAVE FARM CHORES TO DO AND MY BARN NEEDS PAINTING, MY BLUEBERRIES NEED LOVING AND I’M BURNING THE MESS SOME ASSHOLE LOGGERS MADE OF MY PASTURE.  OH AND FINALLY GETTING MY BOOK PUBLISHED SO I CAN PAY FOR THE ABOVE!

TOOTLES AND GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE

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